Doug the Eagle's Ultima Pages

Doug the Eagle's Ultima Pages is a website dedicated to "anti-walkthroughs", humor, and the more esoteric side of the Ultima series. The page is mostly meant humorous and shamelessly uses all the weaknesses and oversights in the games to create hilarious, funny and absurd situations that sometimes will cause the game to either malfunction or crash outright.

Ultima V: Lazarus - Six-score-and-ten oblations to a malefic Avatar
In the stunning remake of Ultima V, Doug does everything to be a real a** in Britannia. In his own words: "How not to rescue Lord British".

Included in this anti-walkthrough are facts about starving the party, funny places where to build a camp fire (even inside buildings) and things to do with the Codex of Ultimate Wisdom. However, the crowning came at the end, where he managed to crash the game in a way at the final rescue of Lord British, that the re-incarnation message and the end sequence mixed in the strangest ways, obviously causing a full game crash in the end.

Sadly his hilarity can't be reproduced any longer, as most of this had been fixed in the latest patch for Lazarus. (although he has developed an "anti-patch".

Ultima VI: The False Prophet - Things your mother never told you about Ultima 6
In Ultima VI, Doug first offers an editor and patches, and some new places he had designed for the game with said editor (said places are quite interesting), before going into the full.

Doug goes into depth how to have fun with Ultima VI's various oddities and quirks. And there are quite a lot of them in the game (although normal players will never find them).

Included are among others:


 * The Fork of Lord British. "You can take everything in the castle, but if you take the fork from the table, you shall be killed as a thief by our majesty!" Included is the revenge!
 * The Duel of the Britishs. How to have much fun with Lord British and the Clone-spell. Hilarity ensured!
 * The hunt for the cloned, animated magic armours.
 * How to create Frankenstein's monster. Doug really crowns himself by totally messing around with Dupre and his resurrection in ways never imagined.

Ultima VII: The Black Gate - A fistful of Ultima 7
[[Image:U7_logod.gif|right|thumb|200px|A fistful of Ultima 7] [[Ultima VII]] is probably the one Doug messed around with the most, since its huge complexity creates room for many hilarious experiments. Thus he had split the whole thing into four pages.

Fear and Loathing in Forge-Of-Virtue

In his tradition, Doug serves us here an anti-walkthrough of the finest, where he still wins the game, despite behaving like scum in Britannia. He didn't leave out much to sabotage, crowning it with him messing around with the final battle in ways never imagined...

Further Drug Experiments

The Serpent Venom simply was too much of a temptation. Watch Doug, Iolo and Jaana going through drug experiments that will give you surprising results and two messages: Doing drugs right will reward you by becoming Superman/woman. Doing drugs wrong will haunt you to the end of days.

Reader Contributions

Not by Doug himself, but his readers, who contributed hilarity of their own. Especially worthy of mention are "The Owen Show" and the grant duel between Lord British and a Wisp inside the castle (with all its bloody results).

A fistful of Ultima 7

This is the main section where Doug stores all the oddities and hilarious things he had done/discovered in Ultima VII. The list this time is especially long and very versatile, with things no normal player would ever do (or would even think about).

Some of the things that are especially worth of mention:


 * Looting the Royal Mint. Doug shows us the best way for a bank robbery.
 * Casino Royale. Doug shows how to make so much money in the House of Games, that he crashed the game in the end.
 * Messing around with killing and dead people. Especially Alagner and Batlin are hilarious when program errors are used to create an absurd situation within the game.
 * Duel of the Britishes Mk.2. Doug again messes with Lord British and the Clone-spell.
 * The "Alternative Endings".

Ultima VII Part Two: Serpent Isle - Cosmic Balancing Act
[[Image:Si_logod.gif|right|thumb|200px|Cosmic Balancing Act] [[Ultima VII Part Two]] is more linear than the previous Ultimas, which of course meant that the carefully balanced plot is much more in danger of getting broken should a determined player try to do so with all means possible.

Doug created the adventures of the Avatar "Dickhead", who used every weakness in the program to create the most absurd of situations, constantly trying to break the plot in numerous ways while walking through the Serpent Isle. Especially worth mentioning are the possibility of breaking the plot by managing not to release the Banes (although it means to kill the party inside the room, and the totally impossible resurrection of Dupre after he had burned himself to ashes. All in all many events to totally ruin the plot.

Starless and Bible Black

Is another attempt to an anti-walkthrough, with even more hilarity. Doug among other things shows us:


 * How to get into Monitor the illegal way.
 * Breaking the mint plot with the stair of bread!
 * Frigidazzi's really perverse sex habits. (Ever had sex with a snake?)

In terms of plot breaking, Serpent Isle is probably the most prone to this problem, thanks to the closely scripted events.

Ultima VIII: Pagan - How to be a complete bastard in Pagan
[[Image:Pagand.gif|right|thumb|200px|How to be a complete bastard in Pagan] [[Ultima VIII]] was, where Doug had started his anti-walkthroughs. Beside pictures of absurd situations, he also provides us with two sub-sections of how to mess around with Beren, including how to get him fall into the water. Also a section for fun with the hackmover is included.

However, the anti-walkthrough is the most important of the pages. Doug has gathered numerous ways to create absurd situations and to break the plot in ways normal players wouldn't discover in any way during gameplay.

Some of these things are:


 * Sacrificing while on drugs!
 * Resting in a lava field while balancing on a log.
 * Devon the practice dummy. Doug shows how to use Devon to gain experience.
 * Sleeping through the Zealan ceremony. Doug manages to seriously mess things up.

Ultima IX: Ascension - Whacked-Out Ultima 9
[[Image:U9d.gif|right|thumb|200px|Whacked-Out Ultima 9] [[Ultima IX]] was quite bug-ridden. This of course meant that Doug had no problems with getting some really strange situations out of it. Also he managed numerous times to break the plot, again in ways no normal player would think about.


 * Ocean travel without a boat. Watch Doug how he creates the best of bridges with the simplest of materials to travel to Trinsic and Buccaneer's Den before the plot allows it, therefore breaking it!
 * The false Oracle. Doug shows us what the Oracle in Moonglow actually is.
 * What will happen if you use a bad DirectX-emulator? Well, this is the answer.
 * The gallery of absurdities. Pictures of things that seem to be impossible but the game still allows.
 * Things to do. Lots of fun like getting to Yew ahead of time thus breaking the plot, messing around with Blackthorn's programming or playing Wilhelm Tell with innocent people and the gruesome results.
 * The Adventures of Barrel-Head. Doug really messed around with the game this time...