User:Blu3vib3

About me
''I'm a nerdy chick. I will edit in sporadic bursts to fill pages with awesome weird minutae and overlong sentences.''

My philosophy on Ultima: I'm pretty sure that Ultima IX sucked to punish us for our combined sins of murdering Bliy Skup Ductosnore several thousand times.

My philosophy on nerdom in general: My favorite Lord of the Rings character is Radaghast the Brown.

My philosophy on life: 40% Leo Tolstoy, 25% Catholic Guilt, 20% 1990s video game philosophy, 10% Anarchist Theory, 10% Chaos Magick (with a K!), 5% Unitarian Universalist Feelgood Mojo - I like to give 110%.

Things I Would Like to Do

 * add translations of Gargish that isn't translated in game where feasible.
 * LATIN!
 * incorporate fun facts regarding the cut Serpent Isle plot documents
 * incorporate weird narrative bits of obscure manuals and cluebooks.
 * incorporate other strange and wonderful minutae wherever I can
 * fix all the writing that wouldn't earn me at least a B+ in an advanced Humanities seminar
 * cut down on oppressive language, slut-shaming, racial stereotyping etc... without making the Wiki look like a Gender and Woman's studies reader.
 * rewrite the Ultima IX articles such as that I won't feel dirty for having played the game.

Actual Things I am Doing Right Now

 * Rewriting Ultima II articles in such a way as to emphasize the presence of Soviet interstellar pirates, Cthuluoid Uranian jesters and things that made the game awesome, without caving to my desire of abject speculation (Largely finished.. still a few odds and ends)
 * De-Ultima7-ing the pages for the cities
 * De-Ultima7-ing the pages for the keeps
 * Rewriting Ultima I articles in such a way as to emphasize the presence of aircars, time travel and stuff that's flipping sweet in as serious a tone as I can muster. (I think I might have skipped Tune or something... get to it later)
 * Rewrite Ultima VII NPCS
 * Trinsic
 * Cove
 * Paws

I: This Was a Game About Being a Good Person
So should I become venomous, uncourteous, proud, or otherwise douchey to strangers on an Internet about our collective OCD-fueled attempts to document said game, I would seriously mess with my fan cred.

II: Embrace the Absurd
Ultima is full of space cannons, soviets, two-headed llamas, talking doors, stick people, drugs, phasers, lasers and fun. Pretending that anything that didn't mesh with my narrowly defined vision of high fantasy genre didn't exist or was some how "non-canonical" would be denying the awesome that is Ultima. It would also be speculation.

III: Assume the Avatar was a Dick
I believe Nakar's Let's Plays should form the basis for Ultima canon (and cannons...), however, I can't very well get away with writing "It is known that the Avatar used the skull of Mondain to kill the entire town of Paws that the hero might release their horses to cavort in the streets," even if that is what happened in my play through. The flipside to this, however, is that it can't be assumed that the Avatar didn't abuse the skull to engage in the liberation of the equine race and instead virtuously tossed the thing into a volcano.

Unless it's 100% necessary to complete the game, I assume that the Avatar might not have - rather than assuming the Avatar did. Remember that for somebody (somebody like me) the Avatar was a kleptomanical, butter-inhaling lesbian with a penchant for killing and resurrecting people to steal their clothing.

IV: Ultima IX Really Happened
As much as we'd all like to pretend it didn't, the game occurred. As much as we'd all like to explain every excruciatingly painful cock up in the game as somehow "not canon," it was.

Rather than speculate as to how every mistake was something that didn't really occur, I shall endeavor to come up with the most straightforward explanation as to why these bizarre time-space distortions were observed, believing that the goodness of Ultima as a whole overcomes the suck-ness of this single installment.

Things I Have Learned Editing this Wiki Which Have Nothing to do with Ultima

 * Quetzelcotl's mom was impregnated by a magic ball of feathers.
 * Bats can die of getting moldy.
 * Poor people used to make armor by sewing bits of discarded plate into their leather jackets.
 * The fossil which people mistook for a gigantic prehistoric cat-eating spider was really a water scorpion.
 * The Etruscans, having an anti-Theseus take on mythology, made red-figure depictions of Pasiphae cradling a cute baby Minotaur.
 * The scientific name proposed for the Loch Ness Monster (created so it could be registered as protected wildlife) was an anagram of "Monster hoax by Sir Peter S"
 * Venom isn't the same thing as poison. You can, in fact, drink cobra venom all day and be fine.
 * Nahautl nouns change suffix depending on who possesses them - also the language has a particle for "organic possession" (possession that implies that object is a part of the possessor)... which is neat.

My favorite pages

 * Bliy Skup Ductosnore - I love you, man... sorry for killing you. :(
 * Blaine - Mild mannered gypsy lad... or valiant combatant in THE MOUSTACHE WAR?
 * [FM-Towns Thief Picture] - Behold the Sosarian thief - his red spandex pants bulging with ill-gotten goods, no doubt!